Friday, June 11, 2010

PPD

So a friend of mine who blogs recently wrote a "vlog" about postpartum depression. So here's my take on it. I talk about it with patients every day, I educate those that are unaware of what it is and I talk about signs, symptoms and triggers that have a history of depression. For me after I had Dreycin, I knew I was at risk for postpartum depression because in 2002 I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, at that time I was given antidepressant & antianxiety medication to help me get back on my feet and counseling. Counseling has been on and off for me since then too, which I know if I can go and talk to a neutral, non biased person about what is going on in my life or what I am struggling with it can help me work past it. PTSD for me was a deep depression, where some days I cried all day in bed, feelings of hopelessness/guilt/not wanting to live, or went out and had a little TOO much fun with my friends On top of that clinical depression is diagnosed to 15-60% of people with chronic illnesses, that flare like lupus. My OB emphasized how important it would be for me to have support at home, taking care of myself after Dreycin was born. After my own experience, I really then understood how important it was for me to ask my patients if they had support at home. I also realized how hard it was to make time for myself. My OB suggested that 7 days a week, I take 1hr a day for me, no disruptions doing something I wanted to do....in addition to 5 days a week 40min of continuous exercise to keep my lupus under control and depression at bay. In the beginning I couldnt do it I was too sore and tired, I couldnt make myself not just want to sleep during my 1hr..... until my 3rd week of postpartum, i started working out. I cant say I havent had my down days, and especially during this time Derek has been gone, I have felt like a single mother. Im so tired, I dont feel like doing anything but I do, I come home to take care of my miracle baby. The baby we thought we would never have, still brings tears to my eyes to this day. I think about women who have had loss, who so deeply want to become a mother. That is the saddest part of my days at work, I definitely come home grateful for my beautiful perfect son AGAINST ALL ODDS. Ive been lucky enough that I have not suffered from postpartum depression, but its all about maintaining a healthy well being. Doing something that makes you happy, confident, balanced, and having those you love support you 200%. Getting out going to Gymboree classes has definitely been positive & helped too, enjoying myself with Dreycin and getting to socialize with mom's & people other than at work. Im hoping when Derek comes home(After 7wks...aghhh) I can focus a little more on ME, like becoming more fit, losing this jello around my midsection! So its going to have to be working out and I am barely doing something 2x a week, if that since Derek has been gone. And I feel better physically and emotionally after working out, my body doesnt ache and im energized! I love the way I feel after any type of workout. Tonight for prime example, I was so exhausted, I had to work this morning and yesterday all we did was run around go to this class, and the next one, some errands, and finally to a friends house for dinner....all that on my day off....and back to the story....tonight im so tired, Dreycin is fussy, there is nothing to eat unless I want to cook, my mom finally wakes up to help me with Dreycin so that I can cook some yummy chicken alfredo pasta, get my lunch ready, do a load of clothes, and load the dishwasher(no exercise)...now its 8:30pm and im exhausted so she has given Dreycin his bath and gotten him ready for bed. Makes me sad a little that I cant do it all, but its impossible yet there are some women out there who do this and I bow to them. I dont know what I would have done if Derek was on a deployment, or gone sooner/longer than he has already been!

Im about to post some pics of swim lessons this week! My mom was able to come so she got some cute pics!

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