Waiting....

Well Day 1 only lasted 1 day, we have had spots of blood everyday since. I'm really started to contemplate that this is not just allergies and there may be a mild bleed in his lower GI. Yes allergies may be contributing because of the eczema we have seen on his abdomen but I have cut so much out of my diet, and trust me I read labels!!!!!
My Aunt who is a PA was telling me to remember that Bronson is "happy, healthy, and growing" and to be weary of any invasive testing that the drs in Atlanta may want to do. I am just fed up. I'm doing everything I possibly can to help my baby get better. So we are impatiently waiting for our appointment in Atlanta.

Day 1

Obviously im doing something right, Bronson had no pin drops of blood in his stool yesterday. IT makes me nervous, yet hopeful. So currently ive been dairy free since Oct 6th and soy free since Oct 25th. Egg free since Nov 30. Peanut, wheat, and gluten free since Dec 10th. Crazy I know, but im willing to do anything. Reading labels is hard work, and there have been a few times ive slipped up, but realized it right away.

HEre's my daily sample menu:

AM: slow cooked wheat & gluten free Bob's red mill steel cut oats with apples and raisins
or
turkey bacon (grassfed and organic) with tapoica bread with apple butter
or
rice cereal with low fat vanilla rice milk
I am still drinking 1 c of organic coffee with low fat vanilla rice milk and coconut sugar in the AM.

snack: banana/ or coconut milk yogurt. If we are on the go, I usually try to run errands in the morning and I will take a enjoy life on the go bar, either very berry or caramel apple, im excited because I got a new flavor sunbutter crunch!

lunch: rice bowl with beans (organic) and either ckn or turkey (grassfed and organic), daiya mozzerella cheese shreds, and wholly guacamole.
or
tapioca bread sandwich with earth balance mindful mayo, some spinach ckn and daiya cheese with a zucchini or squash (but lately i havent been able tofind good looking organic squash.

snack: blueberries or figs with rice crackers and hummus

dinner: ckn or turkey with sweet potato and zucchini, i made add a brown rice tortilla with spinach and daiya cheddar cheese shreds too.


Pretty much everything in my diet is organic, or at least labeled all natural with no preservatives, additives, etc. Im also not eating citrus fruits or beef. I did have a strawberry yesterday, but mainly just bananas and blueberries. And I try to add spinach and kale(in beans mainly) to anything for more vitamins, etc. I need to get a good green shake recipe, i love odwalla green machine drink! And invest in either a vitamix or bullet for shakes, and possibly a bread machine!

This morning my sweet husband made me vegan banana pancakes with coconut butter and maple syrup, yummmmmy! And tonight he made a pumpkin pie completely allergen free for me. I told him he could make it with the good stuff, but he didnt. It was delicious, and just what my sweet tooth needed. He is being very supportive of all this, and shows his love by cooking good foods for me on the weekends, how sweet! We finished off the night by going to drive through Chehaw park to see christmas lights. They also have a small train for kids to ride, and Derek took him for a night ride to see more lights. I thought it would be too cold for B and me, so we stayed in the car. It was a fun family tradition to start!

New food finds

Yesterday we went down to Tallahassee to get some of my specialty foods, plus get a membership at Costco for their organic finds! Costco has alot of organic, rice quinoa coffee kids juices frozen veggies organic beans fresh organic produce olive oil kids snacks big bags of rice works rice chips! We figure if we make a trip down every month or so it will be worth it. We also saved $30 bucks with our military discount at Earth Fare (our comparison to whole foods)! And you get free coupons to your email every week so we got a free pineapple! It was an early start to a long day, we made it back to Ga around 4pm to go to Dreycins friends bday party! Derek an Dreycin stayed a while I came home after a few hrs to eat and feed the baby. I was exhausted.overall I found some awesome foods! Here are some pics! I just have to say thank god for Enjoy life foods brand, they have foods without all of the top 8 allergens, including cookies and snack bars! Also earth balance has made a coconut spread to replace your baking/butter needs!!! I Love the coconut foods!!! These foods may all be more expensive, and we may just not have money to do other things but in the long run I think that these food finds are actually healthier!

Rewind....

Last week I took Dreycin to see Sesame Street Live: Elmo's superheroes! We went with our friends down the road Kaige and his mom Suzie. I was so hesitant going, taking Bronson and Dreycin. But it was a 1030 showing, and all the other ones were at 7pm so I decided to just do it. Dreycin loves Elmo, and anything related to Sesame Street. So off we went, B in the Beco carrier and Dreycin toting along on my hand. We were lucky enough to score some Meet & Greet passes through the promoter. Dreycin and Kaige had a blase meeting Cookie Monster & Elmo! Dreycin wouldnt go near them at first, but you could see the excitement on his face with his BIG smile, and pointing at the monsters. There was only 2 other children in the meet & greet so they had the monsters to just them for a good 20min! So Dreycin had time to warm up, and eventually sat on cookie & elmo's lap. Then we proceeded to the show, we had floor tickets but the best part about that is the show was totally empty. I mean maybe 100people so the kids that were there didnt have to necessarily stay in their seats! Dreycin loved the show, was interested in it the entire time. I amost wish there wouldnt have been a 15min intermission, because after that he got a little antsy but that could have been because the monsters were coming out to the audience saying hi.....and then Dreycin would get upset they were leaving! We had a blast, and Bronson slept until almost the intermission and then I got him out and I really do think he was watching the show too! After intermission the lights went out and I fed Bronson and then he went back to sleep! Total angel so that I could enjoy the show with Dreycin!

But today's moment is this: My child telling me "NO!" I told him to sit all the way down in his high chair, and he yelled "NOOOO" I guess the two's are in full effect. Dreycin is a great listener though, normally. Today we were also in the grocery store, and he kept saying "Go home now mommy!" He is talking so much, I love it. Sometimes in the AM when I ask him what he wants to eat he says, "How about candy?" Yesterday he gave Daddy a run for his money when I went to yoga class, then quick run to the commissary. I guess he has some separation anxiety, and its been a while since I have left him at home but I didnt think he would have a hard time with it :( but Im making it a priority to at least go to 3 classes a week. Tuesdays yoga, wednesday aerobics, and thursdays spin. I love spin, its been a while since ive done it but im excited! I knew there were classes, but now that weve been doing the shred i want a little more. Plus with all the shiaat going on, i need some time for myself and working out at the gym means just that!

You again.....

Well it's Monday and I have the greatest explanation of my joint pains and unexpected mood swings.....well considering my lil B man being sick, but drumroll please....Aunt Flo has come to visit! Maybe my hormones are completely out of whack, but when it's that time of the month my lupus always acts up. This time it was worse and I'm wondering if it's because this maybe my body's way of trying to regulate my cycles since birth? Oh well either way at least I'm pretty sure the pains will subside as soon as she leaves. I did at one point think that aunt Flo had come to visit but it wasn't nearly what I use to have.

In other news, my sweet lil B slept from 11-6 last night! He ate, went right back to sleep until 8! Dreycin also woke up at 630, I gave him some milk and we all went back to sleep in my comfy bed until 8! One of the main reasons I think B is sleeping better is because 1. We are on a schedule finally after 3.5months (eat play sleep) during day and he does not fall asleep at boob. I tried with Dreycin but it did not work. Oh and I do rock B to sleep! 2. I've cut all top 8 allergens out of my diet, which for him I've already noticed less gas. He is even napping in his crib during the day & at night he still co sleeps in co sleeper or with us in bed.

The Allergen free menu is bland, I'm not even suppose to be using spices or salt and pepper, but I do. I'm just a label reading obsessor now. I'm seeing a trip to Tallahassee in our future for this weekend :)

I don't know if I mentioned this in a post before, but this is kind of an update anyways. When we moved onto base Precision Movers scraped my pink kitchenaid standing mixer,dented our deep freezer bad, scraped a leather couch, and bent our latex king bed in half which has made our "3rd person" look kind of creepy in our bed! Basically I have had to do my own research and call BS because they were not willing to take blame for mattress or my kitchenaid. After calling Sealy and a local mattress company we were told our bed is not repairable. And now we took our kitchenaid to a paint & body shop for a "origin of damage" and quote to fix it, these movers had it coming. They should have known that a low ball offer wasn't gonna keep me from doing my homework and own research! They tried to offer us $200 for a $1100+ mattress?
We are waiting to hear what they say about my findings.....

Here is a pic of the wonderful boys in my life :)

Some "FAUX" Mac n cheese

Yum yum this may be the closest I ever come to eating Mac n cheese again! I had for lunch, dinner and lunch again today.....needed some comfort after my pity party yesterday! I added some bacon bits yesterday, but today added some shredded chicken from the crockpot :) I guess rice everything isn't do bad?? Yesterday I also had KOYO rice chips(they sea salt and garlic) with guacamole. I also made a pumpkin bread with Ener G sweet rice flour and Ener g egg replacer this morning. So as of today I'm officially dairy, soy, nut, wheat, and corn free. What the F is what I was thinking yesterday but I may be able to figure B man's allergies and my own. In the last two days I have broke out in hives right after I eat, mostly on my calves or face. They say the cleaner your body is the more susceptible you are to your own allergens! Guess all my childhood allergens were just masked by the JunK SHIT I was eating?

I'm posting from my phone but here is the link to the Mac n cheese!

http://www.badmamagenny.com/2009/05/28/dairy-free-and-soy-free-and-vegan-and-sooooo-easy-macaroni-and-cheese/#axzz1g9T0Jfdc

Feeling discouraged

Nothing ever gets in my way, im a conquering diva. But this whole blood in the stool thing because of allergic colitis (unofficial official diagnosis) has got me down in the dumps. Today was the worst day yet, more blood than yesterday. I decided a few days ago I would cut out eggs too since for the last 1wk 2days the blood has come back. Now im also considering wheat and corn. I love food, but im not willing to give up breastfeeding, i love it. I was never certain why I was so abundantly blessed with breasts, but now as a mother I know. All the teasing I endured from a young age, is left behind as I succeed in motherhood. But again right now I feel defeated, what is best for my child is being questioned and I want answers like yesterday. the only upside to this is I finally lost 3lbs in like 2 days, since cutting out eggs....or so i thought and ate some tapoica bread last night and it had egg whites. thats when we had the bad bloody diaper, about quarter in size and very mucousy. There is an elimination diet Dr Sears has on his website, im going to take his advice and eat barely anything, but here is the problem. Me. I have lupus, there are many foods like potatoes???? that Im not supposed to eat because they are listed as a nightshade produce which is said to cause flare ups. Well if im not already having a flare up, then I sure dont need to get any worse. My other problem, my food is not properly digested because of my lack of enzymes, due to the lupus. Way back when about 5 years ago, I was on a slew of medications/supplements/herbs to help me. But about 3 years ago I got pregnant with dreycin, and after the pregnancy I was categorized as in remission. Well post pregnancy this time, i feel awful. I wake up everyday in pain, go all day with pain, and go to sleep in pain. Stress is one of the things Im suppose to avoid, with two kids each with their own issues these last few months is IMPOSSIBLE to do. Add in cooking, cleaning, working out, laundry that NEVER ends, breastfeeding, and grocery shopping every few days because organic fresh foods only last so long. Dont forget about the financial cost this has taken on either, organic fresh fruits veggies and grassfed meats without dairy soy eggs in them COST WAY MORE than crap foods. Dont ask me why? they overall have fewer ingredients, but are priced through the roof. My mom, bless her heart sent me a box of stuff from Texas with dairy soy gluten free stuff. Im running low, so im gonna have to send her a new list. Its not like Elecare, the formula they recommended for Bronson would be any cheaper....Thats my other problem, locality of these type of items/all natural food stores in the rural area im in is almost impossible too. We drive to Tallahassee or stop when we go to Pedi gastro for Bronson's appointments. There is one store called Publix, that has on each isle a small 6X8 foot shelves of special diet foods, organic, meats etc. but because the foods are organic they dont look that great when they are put on the shelves because they have no preservatives. I could go on and on. Im going to contact a La leche league leader in Tallahassee. It may be good for me to have some more support.

Overall in the literature I find it says this...
Mothers of breast fed infant may need to remove some proteins from their diet (cow’s milk, soy, egg, fish, and wheat.) A dietitian can recommend a diet appropriate for the mother. Alternatively, breast-fed infants may continue to breast feed if the condition isn’t severe. That is, the symptoms are tolerable and the infant continues to thrive and gain weight despite an occasional blood streaked stool.

And this is the article my friend, a lactation nurse in Kentucky I use to work with sent me.

Basically this says that some mothers were given enzymes to help digest proteins better, and this got me thinking about my lupus and how it is already difficult for my body to digest certain foods. So recently I have gotten back on plant based enzymes and probiotics to held aid my digestion, and therefore breakdown the breastmilk better for B man.
All this got me back into researching about my lupus, which honestly I hadnt done in years, unless it was about lupus and pregnancy. Article after article I read states that I should already be living a life free of dairy, and red meats relying primarily on fresh fruits and vegetables while on enzymes and probiotics. So more $ to spend on things my health insurance doesnt cover, great.

I just needed to vent tonight, I already did all the crying for the day.

Dreycin 2y/o update

We have the most verbal, talkative, communicating little boy ever. He is talking all the time and I love it! lately it "im taking pictures mommy" and "I got some moneys" (its actually cake and pizza toppings to his melissa and doug toys) He is so smart :)))) We went for his two year old checkup this last week, a little late but we have had so much going on. He is in 65% for weight 29 1/4lbs and 43% for height 34inches. They kept asking me Is he in daycare, what do you do with him? And the answer is I work with him, i talk to him ALL DAY everything im doing I tell him, and I love on him all day long. Writing that makes me want to cry, because I just love that little boy so much....even when he tests me. Like today I told him to stop doing something and he hit the couch? Or the other day when he tried to climb his christmas tree. But he still is one of the best behaved toddlers i know. At the doc appt we also had B with us, and suprisingly we got through it. I also had just run to the post office before the appt which im still amazed I was able to just "run" somewhere. Its still hard for me to handle it all some days, especially when I am not feeling 100% because of my lupus which has been acting up. But Dreycin is such a big boy, and if I give him an activity to do I can sit down, nurse, etc.

Where does the time go.....

3 months since I have had little Bronson, where has the time gone. I swear it goes by so much faster the second time around. B is weighing in at around Speaking of time....Derek and I got totally out of workout routine around the beginning of November and I have been stuck at 175 forever. We were into the second week of The Shred with Jillian M. and so last week we started it over again. Its crazy how life can throw you off balance. We had Dreycin's bday, Dreycin's surgery, appointments, Bronson had a growth spurt where he wanted to eat every 1hr which had me WORN OUT, we had visitors, and then thanksgiving. That weekend we started our workouts again. This week Im going to re-incorporate my 30min elliptical workout when Derek comes home for lunch. I have noticed a huge difference with my lupus in the last month of not working out, ive had more joint pain its harder for me to get out of bed, and alot more fatigued relying HEAVILY on lots of coffeee!

Going back to B, he weighs 15.14lbs as of Wednesday at his Gastro f/u. He is wearing 6-12mos clothing. Bad news is that we are still seeing the blood in his stool, its very minimal and I am so glad that the gastro we are going to is agreeable that Breast is best even in this situation. We have agreed to do allergy testing at his 5month f/u appt because in addition to the blood we are also seeing eczema on his body. The doc knows that I am trying very hard on this diet, but sometimes I have to admit its easy to mess up. I make everything at home, and never fill full. I would be fine dairy free, but soy free too sucks.But its only temporary is what I have to keep telling myself. The only thing I splurge on is chickfila fries because they do not use vegetable oil, which is usually made of mixture of soybean oils. I thought for sure I would be losing weight but to contrary belief, and research people who eat more fruits and veggies, are gluten dairy and soy free are more susceptible to gaining weight because the bad stuff sticks to them. If that makes any sense. Ugh, i look forward to answers in January to know what not to eat, or not to feed Bronson when he starts eating solids. Ive been going to a breastfeeding support group for additional support/education/knowledge which has helped. Plus Dreycin gets to play with other kids. I have also decided to not vaccinate Bronson until we find out the true allergies. I hate to give his little weakened immune system something else to fight off, especially if we find out he is allergic to eggs. I as a child was allergic to everything under the sun, meats fruits vegetables.....but thankfully grew out of them by my teenage years.

With all that we have been going through, we are looking forward to christmas. We are done shopping, have decorated the house inside and out, and all we have left is to come up with a christmas menu!