Feeling discouraged

Nothing ever gets in my way, im a conquering diva. But this whole blood in the stool thing because of allergic colitis (unofficial official diagnosis) has got me down in the dumps. Today was the worst day yet, more blood than yesterday. I decided a few days ago I would cut out eggs too since for the last 1wk 2days the blood has come back. Now im also considering wheat and corn. I love food, but im not willing to give up breastfeeding, i love it. I was never certain why I was so abundantly blessed with breasts, but now as a mother I know. All the teasing I endured from a young age, is left behind as I succeed in motherhood. But again right now I feel defeated, what is best for my child is being questioned and I want answers like yesterday. the only upside to this is I finally lost 3lbs in like 2 days, since cutting out eggs....or so i thought and ate some tapoica bread last night and it had egg whites. thats when we had the bad bloody diaper, about quarter in size and very mucousy. There is an elimination diet Dr Sears has on his website, im going to take his advice and eat barely anything, but here is the problem. Me. I have lupus, there are many foods like potatoes???? that Im not supposed to eat because they are listed as a nightshade produce which is said to cause flare ups. Well if im not already having a flare up, then I sure dont need to get any worse. My other problem, my food is not properly digested because of my lack of enzymes, due to the lupus. Way back when about 5 years ago, I was on a slew of medications/supplements/herbs to help me. But about 3 years ago I got pregnant with dreycin, and after the pregnancy I was categorized as in remission. Well post pregnancy this time, i feel awful. I wake up everyday in pain, go all day with pain, and go to sleep in pain. Stress is one of the things Im suppose to avoid, with two kids each with their own issues these last few months is IMPOSSIBLE to do. Add in cooking, cleaning, working out, laundry that NEVER ends, breastfeeding, and grocery shopping every few days because organic fresh foods only last so long. Dont forget about the financial cost this has taken on either, organic fresh fruits veggies and grassfed meats without dairy soy eggs in them COST WAY MORE than crap foods. Dont ask me why? they overall have fewer ingredients, but are priced through the roof. My mom, bless her heart sent me a box of stuff from Texas with dairy soy gluten free stuff. Im running low, so im gonna have to send her a new list. Its not like Elecare, the formula they recommended for Bronson would be any cheaper....Thats my other problem, locality of these type of items/all natural food stores in the rural area im in is almost impossible too. We drive to Tallahassee or stop when we go to Pedi gastro for Bronson's appointments. There is one store called Publix, that has on each isle a small 6X8 foot shelves of special diet foods, organic, meats etc. but because the foods are organic they dont look that great when they are put on the shelves because they have no preservatives. I could go on and on. Im going to contact a La leche league leader in Tallahassee. It may be good for me to have some more support.

Overall in the literature I find it says this...
Mothers of breast fed infant may need to remove some proteins from their diet (cow’s milk, soy, egg, fish, and wheat.) A dietitian can recommend a diet appropriate for the mother. Alternatively, breast-fed infants may continue to breast feed if the condition isn’t severe. That is, the symptoms are tolerable and the infant continues to thrive and gain weight despite an occasional blood streaked stool.

And this is the article my friend, a lactation nurse in Kentucky I use to work with sent me.

Basically this says that some mothers were given enzymes to help digest proteins better, and this got me thinking about my lupus and how it is already difficult for my body to digest certain foods. So recently I have gotten back on plant based enzymes and probiotics to held aid my digestion, and therefore breakdown the breastmilk better for B man.
All this got me back into researching about my lupus, which honestly I hadnt done in years, unless it was about lupus and pregnancy. Article after article I read states that I should already be living a life free of dairy, and red meats relying primarily on fresh fruits and vegetables while on enzymes and probiotics. So more $ to spend on things my health insurance doesnt cover, great.

I just needed to vent tonight, I already did all the crying for the day.