Saturday, January 26, 2013

Letting go

In oct '11 Bronson was 6 weeks old and began having blood in his stool, I went on a crazy dairy/soy free, hypoallergenic diet to continue breastfeeding. Every doctor we saw said I needed to put Bronson on formula and I refused, I knew what was best for my son. So finally at 5mos old they allergy tested him by blood and prick tests(meanwhile blood still occurring on and off, almost daily) and it came back that he was allergic to dairy,eggs,chicken, pork, and shellfish. His official diagnosis was food protein induced entercolitis(FPIE) in which for some reason young children can not properly digest food proteins, more commonly dairy.
This is where I'll add if you haven't seen forks over knives you need to, dairy is bad for humans! So after the testing I cut out chicken and eggs, (i was already not eating pork and fish) and decided vegan was the way to go not just for me but the entire family. Looking back at all the sacrifices I made and just can't believe that I had the strength to continue to fight all those doctors for what I believed in. I believed I could help my son heal with giving him the best through me. During all this in march '12 Dreycin began having breathholding spells, which mimics a seizure & tonic like movements....scariest event of my life to see my baby boy go through that. And in April '12 while we were at home and ate at Gloria's I accidentally had cheese which was in the beans and Bronson had a relapse of blood in his stools. My emotions for my both of my son's health have been a roller coaster since Oct '11. In June Dreycin had another episode, and we were finally referred to a neurologist. In July we saw her she ordered an MRI and an EEG. The EEG was normal, but the MRI wasn't scheduled until 2 weeks before Derek deployed, oh yeah my husband found out he was deploying at the end of July. The MRI was a brutal 1hr for Derek and I when Dreycin was put under anesthesia, and then a few days later the drs told us that we would have to put him under again for an MRA due to the absent flow of blood in the right vertebral artery. At this point I knew I would get a 2nd opinion in dallas. So basically Derek was like we are done, we aren't doing anything else and we hoped that he would outgrow the spells as the drs told us that is commonly what happens. I think he just didn't want me to have to go through anything by myself in dallas. Well I got to dallas, got referrals for both boys to allergy and neurology(in October, I knew it would take months to see specialists) Allergy came sooner, and our plan was to test Bronson mid January. Neurology was a wait, our appt was for jan 8th. So I had the boys Pappa k and Abuela come with us to the appointment to help me, so that I could focus on what the doctor said! The doctor was a godsend, he was thorough, kind, funny, caring, and also had a daughter with breathholding spells! He took the time to look at all 837 MRI images with my mom and I! He explained to us that Dreycin was born without a right vertebral artery due to a genetic malformation, prob runs on Derek or my side of the family. At this point the left vertebral artery is compensating the brain with enough blood and If it were not we would be seeing developmental delays or regress in Dreycin. So that was some great news that in some ways I wasn't expecting while Derek was gone. One less sorry I have to worry about :) and then came the allergy appointment Bronson was retested and the only thing that was positive was dog hair and dairy! Double yayyyyyyyyy!!!! And Dreycin isn't allergic to penicillin! So even if the move to dallas was hard, not paid for by the military, I got the absolute best news in January '13 that both my boys despite health issues were going to be fine. The relief my heart has overcome, and the amount of tears I have cried for joy and my own strength through all this is overwhelming. I wish my husband was here to share my emotions with, but instead I did it in spin class! Only 9 more weeks until my love, the father of my beautiful miracle healthy children will be home and we will be a family again.









Saturday, January 5, 2013

On my mind

I have a few topics on my mind lately, and they just probably won't go away until I write about them!
1st is the war, last week NpR wrote an article about this last year the war in Afghanistan has had less casualties compared to the amount of veterans who committed suicide. If you know anything about me, you know that I'm an advocate for mental health, and have volunteered for 1800suicide for over a year in Dallas. When I read the article I was saddened deeply, that veterans aren't being given adequate mental health services after serving for our country. I don't know where to even begin about the gap of services, maybe I'll have more to say after my own husband comes home. I will say that after our last deployment there was a period where Derek just seemed angry, and I wasn't going to put up with it. So we went to couples counseling, and he went to an individual counselor for a while. The beauty of our counseling is that his command never found out, we went through a resource for active duty members called Military OneSource, they found us providers and an appointment within 3 days! But when I come into contact with new military families they rarely know about that resource. It's also how we do our taxes free every year! But anyways, I think a lot of military are afraid to go to their boss and say look I'm having problems for fear that it will go on their record, or I know the other problem is that some veterans get out of military and want no contact with the VA system. It took Derek's grandpa 60 years after fighting Korean War to go obtain services. These people fight for us, and we in the US of A continue to stigmatize mental health, and seeking help for it. This also goes for the recent school shooting at Sandy Hook. There is no doubt about it, mental health needs to be looked at closer in our society. Along with gun control, I myself own a gun(which 10years ago I swore off but I healed) but feel there is no need for assault rifles in the hands of ordinary people in society. My other theory is to use our military to guard every school, bring God back in our schools, send my kids to only schools on a military post, or home school. I hate to think of my precious children I brought into this world seeing these violent acts of evil happen year after year, causes me a lot of anxiety thinking about that soon my kids will be in school soon.
And lastly, breastfeeding. Today their was a nationwide nurse in, I'm in the car or I would have made every effort to be there! I love breastfeeding and cannot stand when people make a big deal about nursing in public. It's a baby eating. This year at the state fair I got see a camel nursing her baby. I also saw a kangaroo carrying her baby in a pouch nursing! It's natural not just for humans, but for all mammals!
I hope that Bronson and I continue as long as possible breastfeeding even if he is 3 years old!
Sorry for the all over the place rant, but it helps me sleep better at night!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2012 lookback

We had a really great year as a family, took lots of trips (mainly to get away from Agony, Ga) but overall spent alot of quality time together! We had a lot of firsts, Disneyworld, blackberry farm, first steps & bday of Bronson, first experience cleaning up our diet, first deployment. The first 3 months of this deployment has really flown by, and cant believe we only have 3 more months! I believe the hard part is over aka the holidays! it was truly not the same with Derek gone.A few updates with my beautiful, mischievious boys!Bronson says down, oh yeah, all done, milk, yeah(yes), NO(all the time, Aqua(water), uno(one), hola(hello), peppa(pepper), duggy(doggie)! Im sure im forgetting some, but he definitely understands so much of what we say! we have definitely already started seeing the benefit of having a spanish speaking nanny!He loves music and dancing, I can always see him in my rearview mirror bopping that head or swaying back and forth in his car seat! The one song he can sing along with is "If all of the raindrops" and its the Aah aah aah part! He is so happy with music. He loves trucks, playing basketball & kickball, blocks, and anything to do with animals. Earlier this year Bronson couldnt sit still to even be read 1 book, now he loves to be read to all the time. He is also a very good eater, loves rice and beans and will eat all his veggies and fruits. We are also still breastfeeding, going strong at 16months(longer than I did Dreycin!)Dreycin, well he is now 3 and talks all day everyday! He is fascinated with monster trucks(we see them everywhere in Texas), hauling/working trucks, playing in the dirt or anything to do with being outside, he loves playdoh, definitely still loves books and has even started to listen to books on cd, he is all boy! Loves to try and rough play with his baby brother which usually ends with Bronson on the floor biting his hand out of frustration with Dreycin! But they mostly have fun! He is really wanting to take naps, but I still need them so he will continue :) and getting him to sleep at night in his own bed....well that has only been an issue since we have been in Texas! He usually crawls into bed with me at some point in the night!
We are really looking forward to 2013, to see what the future holds for us and for Daddy to come home!!!!
My New Years resolution is to be even healthier than last year, that means more gym time, continuing our primarily plant-based diet, and loose more weight! I have maintained/struggled 155-158 ever since Derek left, resorted to quick meals from whole foods, sweets, and inconsistent workouts which is to be expected as a single/ish parent. And with these winter months it just seems like the boys catch anything going around, which means they can't go to gym daycare center :( or go outside because its to dang cold for even a walk! But anyways, things will be better in 2013. In just 1 week we finally see neurology specialists to follow up for Dreycin's MRI he had in September, and Bronson will undergo allergy testing to see if he still has same or less allergies to food. Praying for some really good news for my boys!!! We are ready for 2013!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Almost 2 months down

I'm definitely feeling the holidays coming, which means alot of time with my parents in SA! I've enjoyed being home these last 6 weeks, but have missed Derek terribly. But upside is that we talk thru iMessage every morning and pretty much every night FaceTime(or Skype or tango) whichever one works that night! I did end up having to find someone to come help me, but she was recommended to me from a friend's Aunt. She comes 2x a week for 2 hours and nannies for me, that's really all we can afford right now.
And I need that time to go to gym! I tried and am still trying to take the kids to childcare at the gym but mr B is not having and the most I can workout before getting called to get him is 20-30minutes! D loves the gym, and asks to go everyday! We have music class and D has tumbling class, plus our weekly library class. So we stay pretty busy! But right now all of us have some type of allergy/sinus issues and I'm losing sleep over D coughing at night :( I know that we have had some crazy weather lately and maybe we are becoming acclimated to Texas weather again!???!!
Anyway before I knew it, it was time for D's 3rd bday and I had less than 2 weeks to plan it. One of D's favorite shows is little einsteins, and he loves rocket. So I went with a rocket ship bday party! A lot of things were toy story related too, but everything I found was really cool & DIY! We also had a bounce house, vegan cake & cupcakes from Spiral Diner, and a rocket pinata! Will post pics later, but for now a pic of me with my babies!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

213 days

Today it begins, 213 days until Derek comes home. At some point during our night he arrived in Afghanistan(even though he had left 9-28). He said he was tired, and needed sleep. This last weekend my mom helped me drive back to Texas from Georgia with the kids. The first day we did about 8hrs of driving & the second we drove 6. We stopped in Vicksburg, MS stayed in a la Quinta bc I have never had a bad experience there until this visit. I did not get sleep bc Dreycin didn't go to sleep until around 3am! And we woke up to no hot water! At least the boys got a bath the night before! So we had true bed head driving hair until we got to Dallas on sat around 4pm! Since ten it has been an uphill battle to get us organized in my parents house along with establishing a schedule for the boys. It's a work in progress but its getting easier. What's not easy is hearing my son D say he is sad. Sad that daddy is too far away. Sad that he says he misses his house. But I know being here near family and friends is what is best for us. My mom and dad play such a big part in the boys lives that i wanted to be closer! Just last night Dreycin had a hot date with my BF, it was so cute watching them hold hands and walk! And tonight Dreycin squealed with delight when his pappa K came to get him out of the car to go eat chick fila! He is loving being here, but all the changes have to be so confusing to an almost 3 yr old. On Monday he started soccer class, and Wednesday we had kindermusik! I also managed to go to gym for yoga on Monday and Tuesday, and again on Wednesday for weights and cardio. On Wednesday I also took the kids with me to go to the gym childcare, I only got in 40min but as time goes on they will get more accustomed to "mommy going to the gym!" After all I truly feel that the only way I can get through this deployment being a single parent is if I can workout & have that me time. It makes me feel like a better mom, feel good about myself and is so energizing! Anyways, I'm pretty sore haven't felt like this in a while! I've also seen my Chiro/acupuncture doctor 2x this week and he is fixing my "mommy syndrome" back! I am starting to relax a little more, yet I know I've gotta keep up the pace because we have 7months left! Oh and We already sent Derek a box so hopefully he will get his goodies now that he is just getting there :)

Saturday, September 15, 2012

9 days left

We only have 9 days left in our house on base! This last month has flown right past us! This week we went up to Jacksonville to have Dreycin's MRI @ wolfson's Children's hospital and f/u neurology appt at Nemour's. We drove up on Sunday, had sushi on the river and got dessert at whole foods! Monday morning I had to call the nurse at MRI at 630 am for arrival time, and they told us to be there by nine. Our goal was to let Dreycin sleep as long as possible because he wasn't going to be able to eat until after procedure, and we were told our table time was gonna be 11am. Dreycin had a cough a couple days prior to the MRI and generally if a child is sick at all they don't do the procedure! Well I was convinced we were gonna be sent home, but they said he sounded clear! We were told after checking in that they were running 1.5 hrs late! Meanwhile I have Dreycin asking derek and I for a snack. It was so hard to tell him ok later baby :( but bc I'm a mom I decided I wouldn't eat either, so I would just bare through it with him. We didn't get the MRI started until 1240pm! Derek was pisted to say the least bc the staff has to know that these are kids we are talking about, and we can only tell them they can't eat for sinking until we have a totally foreseeable complete and utter Toddler meltdown!!!!he kept seeing chick fila cups & bags bc there was one in the hospital, and he loves chickfila! But we got by, and the only thing he didn't like was wearing the hospital gown! It was cute had whales and fish, but was itchy and flannel like, so I started telling him it was like Super Grover's cape and that's how we wore it until we went back. I had also chosen to put a pull up on D since who knows what could happen under anesthesia? Most of the morning was spent in a playroom, furnished by childrens miracle network. It had all sorts of toys, ride on toys, kitchen. But suprisingly Dreycin chose to watch Calliou, little einsteins, octonauts, and mickey mouse. We had also bought him a mobigo super cheap from target, but he wasnt interested. And B slept in my arms for an 1hr or so. About noon we were finally taken downstairs to MRI. I chose to go into the procedure with Dreycin, and once we were in there, there were about 5 other techs, drs, assistants and us two. But for those two minutes I only saw Dreycin looking at me, holding onto me wondering what was gonna happen. I held him and told him everything was gonna be all right and told him to breathe in the bubble gum smell aka gas mask with the anesthesia. He screamed, fought me, and I had to hold him tighter, that's when the nurse saw put her arms around me and Dreycin to hold us both. The doctors were telling me to sing to him, but i couldnt I was fighting tears and all i could say was im right here baby, your ok. Over and over again. Within 30seconds Dreycin was out, he was in my arms very limp, sleeping soundly. I laid him down, and they said Ok Mom, this should take 1hr and we will call you back before we wake him up. I really liked the idea that I was the last person Dreycin saw and the first to see when he woke up.when I laid him down the years flooded, but I knew I had to leave him. After i walked out the plan was to insert IV in Dreycin, they were going to draw bloodwork, administer an IV anesthesia for sedation, and contrast for MRI. During the surgery we were right outside the recovery room/MRI suite in a waiting room. We were the only ones waiting. I told derek I had to eat something or I was gonna pass out, and I'm serious because I had inhaled some of the gas just from being right next to Dreycin!
Imagine that child and mother passed out during MRI, but thinking about it they did tell me that it's often the mom that needs the anesthesia! And I wonder if that has accidentally happened before and that's why the nurse held me too!! Anyways we went to 8th floor cafeteria and got waters and the only thing I could find dairy free, baked lays. I wanted to get right back to waiting area. Did I mention how wonderful Bronson was all morning long! It was like he knew he had to be a good boy, better yet maybe he sensed it! He kept me smiling the whole time! Around 30min in one of the anesthesiologists was going to lunch and said that Dreycin was doing great! At 145pm Derek was like ok it's been an hour, so he went and asked them if he was done and they said we were going to be called back in just a minute. When I first saw him it looked like he was intubated but his nurse said that it was like a mouthguard for waking up from anesthesia, plus she mentioned he snored and this was useful for kids that snore during procedure to open up airways better. He started to wake up in about 3 min after we were back there. I got in the bed with him, and we laid there for about 15min. He drank some apple juice, had some animal crackers, but kept getting upset that he had an owie on his hand where the IV was!, we tried to wipe away blood but that made him even more upset. We were told that the rest of the day needed to be light indoor play, assist D with bathroom. We were discharged and walked straight over to chickfila to get my baby boy some food! He was extra whiny, irritable but that was to be expected after anesthesia. He only wanted me to carry him, which doesn't happen often anyways. After that we got in car to head back to hotel. Derek and I stopped at high tide burrito(very good) to get something quick. The joy of our hotel & hospital (and burrito place) is that it was all on same road within 2 min of each other! We went back to hotel but no one slept and Dreycin was calm for a few hours but quickly returned to the rambunctious toddler we know! So later that evening when we couldn't keep him from bouncing off the walls we went to the navy base walked looked around, then went and ate at whole foods. You would think the boys were tired but nope they were still egging each other on at 11pm! Meanwhile Derek and I are beyond ready for SLEEP! Finally they feel asleep, me in the middle with both under one of my arms!We woke up the next morning, got ready and went to Dreycin's follow up appointment at Nemour's. They didnt have the MRI results, and were confidant they were fine. They knew this would be our last visit before moving to Dallas, and told us they would call us with the results. In the meantime, if the breathholding spells got worse, or happened again to call them. So we left thankful that all of it was behind us, and it was done before the deployment. We went and had lunch again at hightide burrito, then headed over to whole foods for a quick grocery shopping of veggies and fruits! we were on the road by 130pm, and for the first 2.5 hrs both kids slept just like on the way up. THis is the time Derek and I had to talk about what we had left to do before deployment. Things I needed to do after he left, what to send, who to send the POA to etc. My laundry list keeps getting longer. Two days went by with no phone call, and Thursday morning the neurology clinic called. Dreycin's MRI had come back, and right when I answered the phone and she began to talk my heart sank. Turns out the MRI of the brain was completely normal, what is of concern is that there is a lack of blood flow (on the right side of his neck)from the vertebral artery to his brain. The vertebral artery supplies the brain with 20% of blood flow and controls coordination, gait, balance. So after the doctors met about Dreycin's case, they concluded that we needed to find a neurologist in Dallas and ask for another opinion and go ahead and get scheduled for an MRA which is similar to an MRI, but it looks at the blood vessels. So Ive looked at doctors, and found one nearby in Frisco. It will be one of the first things I do when we get to Dallas, finding doctors for all of us! The pics are from Bronson's bday shoot, and the last two are from Jax. Eating dinner on the river the 1st night, and Dreycin being "floated" down to MRI in a boat!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Pics!

Family pic from the ocean oneders bash! And a pic of the cute lollipops (which I copied off of pinterest!)
Dreycin eating kale!
New rice milk snacks for B I found at target! (and a Dr bronner Chapstick for me!)
Boys playing in B's bday present, a slam dunk ball pit jumpy house thing!